Feeling fat / 25.10.09
So, my ankle + left leg's feeling much better.
Err, yeah, so yesterday was katy perry's birthday. hahaah.

I think o levels start tmr.
Good Luck to all those poor ducklings!

Yesterday. hmm, what did i do?
No training, so i watched youtube for the whole day, i think.
Oh, and probably spent the whole afternoon with my mum's relatives.

Today, woke up and went for breakfast at some place in Geylang for egg.
Then i officially became a proud owner of two rooms. hehehe, like, FINALLY!
So yeah, now all the boxes are in the second floor living room.
Met Pinkett at Bugis to shop for gifts, and bought them :D:D
Math tuition, differentiation again, this time, up to quotient rule.
But i was so pissed during the class that i didn't bother about whatever he said.
Dinner- eek. FRIED chicken wings. This is the last time. The next time, i'll be in the newspapers the next day for murdering an innocent maid whose only wish was to make me happy.
Here now.

Oh, i probably didn't say much about this terms exams. Unlike review tests yeah.
Results are coming back next week, it's the first time i'm not feeling jittery. Maybe it's because i know that i didn't put in 100% effort, or rather effort put in by me was a grade lower than the norm.
So, i think it's time i mention something, because i was in depression throughout the whole exam period. period. So let's start with the subject comments first.

LA- paper 1, the essay paper, was done pretty badly. I didn't exactly notice the three parts to the question, until i copied the statement in my conclusion. How fantastic. So, hopefully, i'll be able to pass, and even if i don't, it's fine. Paper 2, compre + summary. BAD, the only word to describe it, i guess. It's the first time rephrasing all my answers in my own words. FOR ALL THE QUESTIONS, ESP SUMMARY. Omg, die, i'd most probably changed the meaning. Paper 3, stimulus. It's depressing, cause when i went back home with honglan, i realised that the theories i chose were mostly all wrong, so yeah. Lots of marks gone down the drain, but nevermind. LA/english has never been my thing/cup of tea.

Math- Nothing much to say, i didn't do one 5m part/ques. Hopefully, i didn't pen down any really really careless mistakes, and hopefully, i can pass.

Chinese- Paper 1, the compo/situational writing part. Probably because i knew right from the start that i wouldn't do well, i didn't put much hope on it. And also, i was aware of my misreading of the question, so i knew right from two weeks ago, that i failed paper 1. Paper 2 was quite horrible, but idk why, i feel quite satisfied for being able to finish the paper. RECORD! However, finishing the paper doesn't mean anything. My answers may very well be 90% wrong. Damn. Chinese chinese chinese. Nope, not my thing.

Bio- The paper was damn hard, i must really admit. Like practically a sure-die paper. Yupp, that's Mr Foo. Hi Mr Bio testpaper, i'm here to kiss you goodbye.

Chem- Mr Teo wasn't any lenient in setting some of the questions. But i know that chem isn't my thing, since i did so horribly for the past year papers. So say bye too!

Physics- Err, well, some people think that i'm some physics pro, but i'm not. I'M NOT OKAY. Seriously. The only reason why i could do well for the review test was because i was lucky. Freak, this paper was tough like crazy!! I didn't finish the higher-weightage question, two of them. And by listening to my friend's answers, i think i got most of the questions wrong. That was, coincidentally, the last paper, and everyone was soooooooo happy that EOYs are over. But i was quite emo, and wasn't really in the mood. Lucky thing, thanks to James, she choose the right movie to cheer me up. But i reverted back to my emo mode again, soon after. So, physics, neh, not my thing.

Geog- Since i already know my grade, there's nothing much to say. But there's one thing i would really like to say. "Hi Ms Ngerng, thanks for all your dedication and encouragement. Your support gave me strength to carry on, and i'm grateful for your utmost effort to help me pull my geog results up!!! (after my review test nightmare of 9/25) Thankyou so so much!"

Lit- sorry, but SURE FAIL. when have i ever done well in lit, except for last year's EYEs, when i shockingly topped the class. :O Well, that will never come back again, so i just hope i won't get a single digit for lit, oh gosh.

Long post, oh wow.
Results are coming back on tuesday all the way to friday.
Looking and reviewing my thoughts and feelings about the exams, i'm not daring enough to even ask for a B. I'm just asking for a pass for almost every subject except for LA, chinese, lit, physics. I hope that i won't get a single digit for those "except" subjects... :(

More experiences to share.
I bet no one would believe me if i said that i didn't study hard for this year's EOYs.
It's the truth, because, oh right, it's pretty hard to explain, but how should i put it?
Hmm, hopefully, i don't get this next year, cause according to my seniors, IP2 results are way and far more important than IP1.
With that mentality in mind, as well as depression, i slacked during the last two weeks of preparation for EOYs. I didn't know what i was doing.
All i know is that i was burnt out, really burnt out.
This didn't happen last year. This year, i couldn't stand the sight of books and papers.
But i didn't dare to train, cause that made me feel guilty. I kept thinking of my friends and peers, and images of how hard they're working. Imagining them burying their heads and brains in books, textbooks, etc.
But instead of working harder, i watched more TV.
More than i could even imagine.
I've never watched that much TV in my whole secondary school life (ever since i knew what's 'studying'), as in for that period of two weeks.
Moonlight resonance, friends, Hope & Faith, and one more cantonese show. I also watched the doctor show on channel 18, forgot it's name.
That made me even more guilty, and even more depressed.
All the more, i couldn't study, and that was what led me to relaxing throughout the whole period of supposed 'chionging time'.
Well, so, i don't really know how to explain the feeling, but i'm sure some of you may have that feeling too.
It's like: I know i'm suppose to read the bio and chem textbook, and i have the time, but i just don't want to read it. i'm so sick of books. i'm so sick of studying. i'm just gonna rest and have fun tmr.
Yeah, that's the case. I know that i'm the rare few who slept at 10 pm every night during the 'chionging period'. But nevertheless, i think, and now i know, that health is the most important.
Sometimes, i think about it. Seeing my peers burn the midnight oil, just to finish assessment books, or to revise the fifth time. Is it even worth it, or is health more important?
Is it better to be a fatso/unfit person who is a top 20 in the cohort or to be a fit person who is average. Think about it. I would rather the latter. Seriously. But nevermind, it's all over. Hehe, i'm just writing it down while the feeling's still there so that i can review it when the years pass.

& to my bestie! Get well soon, Cat! Don't abandon me in school tmr!